That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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