i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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