it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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