she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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