Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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