He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
