I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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