a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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