You're earring is so big in my mouth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
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Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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