I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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