There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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