She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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