I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
