I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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