absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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