I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I know her cup size but not her name....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
