Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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