im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize