used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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