Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
