If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize