Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I deserve this hangover.
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