one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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