So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
