I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
