laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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