then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
