She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I lost the right to judge tonight
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
