I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
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I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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