we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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