i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My bed smells like the plague
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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