Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
