Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
