I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
