What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
