Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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