i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This baby is an asshole
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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