I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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