Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize