Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
