When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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