He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
