I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
