I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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