Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
