i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize