see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
