I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
