In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
