We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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