we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
FUCK WHALES
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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