her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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