That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
