Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
