I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
