Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
