I bet he comes in French.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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