i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
