i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
