Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
