great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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