Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties