So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My first STD was from a foam party
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.