I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning