my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.