so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
