From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
