I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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