Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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