Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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