I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
